that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
