she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
