I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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