I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
