So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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