yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
