He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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