Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
