About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm sobbing to NWA
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
