I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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