just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
