So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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