So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
