Don't you send me to vm
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
