You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
