i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
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