I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
