A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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