It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
