dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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