I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
