I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
