That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
