took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
