im drinking this country out of the recession.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
