i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
