Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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