Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
