Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
