Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
