i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
