Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize