I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I need to calm my uterus...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
