If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
