we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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