upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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