He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
