Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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