the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
ugly people sure do ruin things
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He shit in the fireplace
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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