Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We need to get me chipped asap
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
