he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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