it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
now i know why i became what i already was.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
