ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
