so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
