i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
