There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
