is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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