im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
