3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
