i just had sex bonerless
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
