how can u be prego again
from now on my penis is your penis
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just want nice things and good sex
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
